Yesterday we hiked to the top of a mountain and it was beautiful. It’s my favorite hike here, with my favorite views.
About a third of the way in, you walk through a forested area. I call this area sacred ground.
There’s something there that I can just feel. It pulsates through the tree roots and the ground and into your feet as you walk.
I wish to someday go there and just sit quietly for a few hours.
Past the forest and making your way up the mountain, the views begin to wash away your memories of what’s down below.
You just hear the wind, the birds chirping and rustling through the bushes. You hear the quiet of the altitude.
Just before the very top is my favorite place to sit. You can feel all the magic up there. I tried to do a reading up there once. To tap in and answer someone’s questions.
But the answers are different up there. They come in the form of a song or a tone. Or just single words:
It’s not a place for speaking. It’s a place for feeling, for Being. For yelling out nonsense into the wind and laughing. Or deep listening. For loving.
Whenever I go up there I think about whispering a prayer into the mountain tops. I think, ooh, I’ll ask for what I want up here because we’re away from all the noise down there.
But the same thing always happens. I find that there isn’t anything I want. I remember wanting things. Down at that lower altitude…I remember deeply desiring this and that.
But up here, there was nothing tugging at me. I just wanted to Listen.
Nothing was urgent or pressing or more holy than just Being.
This morning I woke up and couldn’t wait to be back outside. Everything felt effortful. So I let myself run to the nearest park.
As soon as I took a breath and smelled the dampness of forest, all my discomfort melted away. I took a detour and found my way down a hill-quick access to the trees and the forest ground.
I sat down next to a tree and felt into the soil with my hands.
“It’s so peaceful here. I’m so happy. Maybe I should ask for something. What do I want?”
Again, there was silence within me. I just wanted this moment, just to Be. And nothing that I longed for before seemed relevant.
I used my energetic feelers to tap into the forest around me. “What do you long for, Forest?”
It was quiet. It was too busy Being to Long for anything. Busy breathing, busy connecting, busy existing.
I thought of my energy reading sessions. I thought of how we’re usually busy Longing. And in the readings, we’re guided back to Being.
Secretly, I just want to Be. I want to breathe the way the trees breathe and be the air that rushes across the surface of the river.
When I feel into things, I feel the way they feel. I like feeling into flowers. And feeling the sun shining on me, I slurp it up like honey on my lips.
But I always have to come back to myself. And then I remember that I’m no different than that flower or tree or bird. Sometimes I just think that I’m different.
Sometimes we forget to be the animal that we are. To just Be. To feel what it feels like to be in this body without Longing. And to feel into our particular and unique beauty as a living being-the human kind.