How to Stave Off the Crazies [in uncertain times]

The was a spider in my shower just now. I watched as it spun its web and explored my shampoo, conditioner, and shelf of random shower tid-bits. I wondered what it felt like to be a spider. Did it notice me? Was it concerned about the steam starting to envelope the air around it?

It was time to try and remove the spider from my shower. I attempted to scooch it onto several items when suddenly, it fell to the floor. Horrified, I turned off the water and tried to save it from the pool of death it had fallen into. Nothing was working! I ran out of the shower to grab a couple tissues and rushed back to raft Spidey to safety. Things weren’t looking good. I laid the tissues on the bathroom floor and crouched down to assess my new friend’s vitals. There was no movement. Its body was all smushed into itself.

I remembered how resilient insects were. Once, I saved a moth from a glass of water. (By saved I mean I thought it was dead and I was just scooping it out to give it a proper burial.) As soon as I had lifted it from the water, I saw it move a little bit. I grabbed paper towels and laid them under the moth-in hopes they would soak up the excess water. It worked! The moth seemed to rise from the dead and I rushed outside and placed it in a bush.

I wondered if this spider was like my resurrected moth. Insects were resilient.

I left the tissues and went back to showering. Now and again I would peek to see if Spidey had moved. I didn’t see anything.

Carefully, I stepped out of the shower to dry off and kneeled down to check again.

Please be alive. I’m sorry I tried to move you. You can do it. You’re r-e-s-i-l-i-e-n-t. 

I saw movement. I scooped up the tissues and put them into the sink. More movement.

It looked like one of its legs was stuck, or injured.

I grabbed a dry tissue and made a little bridge from the wet ones to see if that would help. It did!

It was alive! Completely intact!

I debated taking him outside. I felt reluctant to make him have to travel after such a harrowing experience. Currently, he is somewhere in my bathroom.

What difference does it make, to save o-n-e spider, this o-n-e time? I can just as easily step on him the next time I go to the bathroom. One of the cats could get him.

What importance does the life of a spider have, when so many die and are reborn so continuously?

I don’t know. I just know I couldn’t let him drown. Not tonight, not in that shower.

I thought about the weeks ahead and wondered what I’ll be doing with myself. I seemed to have done well with this social experiment. I had gained a lot of value from this physical distancing. I learned things from our machine slowing to a soft grind.

I had only completed one part of a three part isolation series. Wtf was I going to do now?

What can you do but go deeper? Even deeper than before.

We seem to have been raised to be part of a machine. What happens when that machine stops? It’s a question many of us are attempting to answer.

And what will happen when the machine restarts? Will our insights hold? Will our civilization truly be changed?

I don’t know. But I know that every day, I’m going to make sure I don’t drown in the bathwater. I’ll raft myself onto dry land. I’ll make bridges of tissues for myself to climb onto when I’m ready.

Who am I with out the machine?

Just a spider trying to build a web. Unsure of what the next moment will bring, but I just focus on weaving. I remember how resilient I am, how resilient we all are.

Published by Readings By Heba

I have over 12 years of experience doing intuitive readings. I've done extensive research into metaphysics, the occult, and faith based religions. I regularly practice meditation and kirtan (devotional yoga). I acknowledge that our lives are made of the seen and the unseen and that Truth is a moving target. I can say only a few things with great conviction after all I have lived. One, life ebbs and flows and it is always up to you to come back into your light. Use every resource you can! Two, the source of all things is light and freedom. You are free to believe whatever you choose to believe, only you can convince or disprove your own ideas. Three, we are dynamic, enigmatic beings. Though society would like us to stay in certain boxes, the truth is we can't. I am so much more than a reader. I live my life with robust joy and great curiosity. Four, I have always been in touch with something that is beyond our conventional ideas of life. I always felt something beyond my five senses. There is a part of me that relishes in diving into the depths of existence. Into those lighter layers of perception. I like feeling where the flow of life is moving. And I truly enjoy doing it with others. Lastly, I am a lover at the core of my being. I love devotional practice. I love adoring the world and everything in it. I seek to shine my light wherever I go. Of course we experience hard times, I just make the absolute most out of all the other times.

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