I embarked on a journey to live by following my heart, to do work that felt fulfilling. I wanted to express my inner world externally in an artistic medium. I wanted a Way, some skills to translate my inner self.
I felt as though I had so much to say, but no language by which to express it. I came to be an artist, a designer, a seamstress. I was passionate about these things. I thought that passion was what I was looking for, but something was missing.
I looked again. I revisited some old wisdom, I found my way to new wisdom.
Deepak Chopra says there are three components of the Law of Dharma.
1. To discover your true self.
2. To express your unique talents.
3. To be in service to humanity/serve your fellow humans
In the guided visualization videos I would listen to at work, they often mentioned the idea of “helping”. How can you help others? What is it that you are offering?
In the business oriented videos I would listen to, they would ask who your audience is. What are they like? What are you providing for them?
I didn’t know how I was in service and I had no idea who my audience was. Others were not factored into my ‘passions’. I was doing what felt inspiring or creative to me, I had no idea how it related to anybody else. I ignored this fact for quite some time. I just didn’t know what to do with it.
This one week, I did a hypnosis guided meditation that compelled me to feel this connection to humanity. Here is what I saw: I was a pack animal and I was sitting in the forest, with my pack. We only communicated with our eyes. We communicated UNITY. I felt something stir within. Some kind of knowing was coming alive. I knew something, but it was so natural to me that I hadn’t looked at it.
The same week, I was listening to Steve Harvey. He said something so incredibly strange and seemingly unimportant. “Your gift is the thing you do the absolute BEST with the LEAST amount of effort.” (I had been looking up videos on the idea of purpose.) He repeated this so many times. I glazed over it until something struck me. I remembered that visualization I had done.
I remembered being in that forest, that feeling that stirred within me. There was in fact something I do the absolute best with virtually no effort at all. It was so innate to me that I had looked right past it-it was too easy.
I felt this natural ability within me to connect. I can connect deeply, intimately with the fabric of our world. It’s just something I do and have always done. I can also s-e-e people, I can see them from the inside out.
When I was very young I knew how to calm people. I would just do it. I knew the pathway from where they were to the feeling of Calm, and I would hold their hand and walk with them there. But I never put words to it, I was too little.
There is something significant in going back to your roots. Going back to the origin of you. All of the masks I tried to wear and the walls I built up around me fell away.
At the basis of my being, who was I? What felt most natural?
Connecting. Swimming around in the energy data of things and people (like a weirdo). Loving, adoring, facing towards the light. When I stripped everything away, that is what remained.
I thought I was going to filter that essence through a medium, through art. In the end, that was a cumbersome and tangled process. I let go. There was a better way, the most basic way.
I was just going to b-e that essence, wholly. It expressed itself after all, I didn’t have to cram it through a meat grinder to see what came out the other side.
I was on a new adventure now. I felt steady. I felt like the wheels of my life had just clicked into place.
