Fear has two sides. The inner world of the person experiencing the fear, and the outside influences appearing “scary”. We often put these two sides together and it becomes known as one thing – fear.
In doing this, we limit our ability to go further through misunderstanding. Think of something that scares you. Try to discern whether it is objectively scary “out there” or is it something inside you that makes it feel scary?
It would be safe to argue that all things that are scary “out there”, originate from a fear “in here”, but we have to push that to the side for now.
For example, if a rabid beast approaches you, one could say that the situation is objectively scary. While getting promoted at work and wanting to run away relates to a fear “in here”.
To approach life with more boldness in your stance and a willingness to say yes although you feel afraid, has to do with working on the “in here” fear response.
There’s the type of fear that makes you want to walk through it even though it’s uncomfortable and the other kind that’s more like, “No for real, you need to RUN.”
Becoming more masterful at which one is which takes getting to know yourself, deeply. Getting adept at the nuances of feeling and a more refined message of what they’re telling you.
Of course there are times I don’t care which fear it is, I’d rather hide. I’d rather not play right now and keep my head down and just exist on autopilot for awhile. So you always want to have two approaches to yourself and your life, one that says “Ok, this is not the time.” and another corresponding response that says, “But I’m keeping my eye on when I DO feel more available and I’m willing to flow with it.”
When I prepare to do a reading I can either feel that, “no way I’m outta here!” or I can feel complete readiness. This never has anything to do with who I’m reading or what the situation is. It has everything to do with my own readiness. My “in here”. As long as in here is stable and steady, I can do just about anything. But if I can feel a shakiness inside, then I know I can’t move forward.
This is why sometimes meditation or inner quietness seems like the most torturous idea. If things are very shaky on the inside, when you quiet the outside and tune in – it can seem like a nightmare. So if you’ve been having a terrible time and emotions are high, meditation is not a good idea. More calming activities can be better. Less Quiet and more Soothing is what you aim for. [Soothing can also include a physical activity that channels your thoughts and gives you temporary piece – like a workout or dancing or cooking. It doesn’t have to be taking baths or listening to Enya.]
Soothing yourself into a place where meditation seems manageable is the key. This can take minutes to months and in some cases years depending on the person.
Every now and then I come across someone that is afraid of getting a reading. To me it doesn’t make sense because I’m only speaking what is already within you. And then I think, people must be afraid of themselves in some way. That there might be a mysterious *something* in there that’s terrible. “Best not to look at it.” And in almost ALL cases, the mysterious something is incredibly beautiful. It’s the Love they’ve denied themselves. It’s their own light warming their spirit.
And then I think, is the mysterious terrible thing…love? Is it self-worth? Is it light? Is it scary to approach those things when we’ve practiced *something else* for so long? Is it because we started to believe that the hardships we experienced were evidence of our unworthiness and now we don’t want to even look in the direction of inner love?
I’d like to speak on behalf of You and tell you that you never did anything wrong. And that the hard things in life had nothing to do with how loved you are. You remained always, then and now, Worthy, Perfect, and Wholly loved just as you are.
Your whole being is like a ship riding the ocean of “life”. You’re the eyes peering out over the waters. And your ship never leaves you. No matter how rocky the waves. It’s just there saying, I got you. It says, we’re strong, we’re steady, we’re loved. We’re in this together. You could ignore those messages of love for years and they wouldn’t change. Your “ship” never forgets you or gives up on you. It’s just a steady, “I got you.”
So when you can distinguish outside fear from “in here” fear, you can look inside and listen. “What am I afraid of?” Get into a place where you feel as happy as you possibly can and look again. Can my inner strength and worthiness rise above this fear? Can I hold steady? Can I feel the part of me that doesn’t know fear? What is the Best part of me saying?
Sometimes people ask whether I get afraid doing readings. What about other people’s energy affecting yours? What about all the unknowns when you’re in that open, “vulnerable” state?
I’ve learned that there is only one thing that is a variable. My own steadiness. Am I holding steady and confident? Am I moving with Flow or am I allowing myself to be affected by other people’s perceptions? Am I allowing my own fears to infiltrate the reading? I have to be ready before and I have to stay steady after as well. It’s all me. The scariest things are my own, not anyone else’s.
I don’t fear the unseen worlds because I know who I am as I step into them.
In times when I don’t know myself, when I haven’t wanted to be with Me, when I don’t feel like talking about love or light, I don’t venture anywhere else.
When I’ve helped others learn to channel, this is the main thing to learn. To know yourself. To know every corner of the inner you and where you feel Best. Know your darkest and lightest parts and let them be. And when you’ve closed your eyes to Who You Are, that’s not the time to channel or explore.
My biggest wish or desire for myself in this world was to help people feel at home within themselves. Because I’ve been to the darkest edges and the highest highs and realized there is nothing Bad within us. And I’d like to say to everyone I meet, “Come on in! The water’s nice!” The waters of the Whole You. Get to know yourself. Find the part of you that holds a light that doesn’t flicker and never goes out.