This morning I had a burst of fresh energy flow through me and I grabbed onto it and ran!
I feel as though every time I get my head out from under water, another wave comes through and I’m clawing around trying to find my breath.
I remember in the past when I would go through the ebb and flow of inspiration and weariness. It was a soft flow. It seemed to take weeks or months before I would need to be re-inspired.
Lately, it feels like it’s moving so quickly. I reach for the light and so soon after, it’s faded again. And off I go, chasing after it. There doesn’t seem to be time to slack off, or to hit the autopilot or cruise button.
I’ve felt that since the very beginning of this new time that we’re in. There’s less space for living with my eyes closed. I’m shaken awake constantly, and it’s a bit exhausting.
There’s that flow of life, that current that feels so good when you’re in it and so horrible when you aren’t. It’s moving faster than ever before and seems to demand more commitment, more focus. Like trying to hitch a ride on a roller coaster that’s gaining speed.
A couple of days ago I felt so weary; I was dragging around my body like dead weight. It felt strange, like I was so energetic and at once completely drained. I was standing in the metaphorical dark and couldn’t remember how to do this whole…”life” thing.
And I remembered something that is the single most important thing I’ve ever discovered. It seeped into my awareness as it always does, just when I need it most.
Light never stops moving. It never stops expanding. And when you travel with light (i.e. that flow of life that feels ALIVE), you also can’t stop moving. It becomes so apparent when the light has left you behind, because everything feels stale and heavy.
And all you have to do is remember, remember that the Light is where your breath is. And you want to follow it like a scavenger hunt or a game of tag. Always on its heels. It replenishes your entire being. It takes you to where you want to go.
The best part is that it’s easy to find, no matter how long you’ve been wandering around in the shadows. Just an intention. An intention to awaken. To allow yourself to Follow where it’s gone.
It’s moving so fast these days that I don’t realize sometimes when it’s gone. I have to recalibrate so much more frequently, sometimes more than once a day. Something about this Time that we’re in is rushing forward. Speeding ahead. Saying Run! or Fall Behind.
So if you feel like you’ve been coming out of the dark only to plunge back in again, you’re doing it right. Keep going. We’re all acclimating to this new speed. And it will get easier. Just keep following the light. Sleep extra if you need to. Uplift yourself often, constantly. And give yourself plenty of grace.
When you feel a bit of light coming through, a new idea, a feeling of upliftment…grab hold! And don’t worry if it slips away again. See it as a reminder to keep going, there are such beautiful, bright days ahead.
Here’s my mantra for today:
I worry not, dwelling in the shadows, because the breath of life illuminates my entire being. The darkness helps me to find the light, ever moving, ever growing. I close my eyes and I remember…Light, Warmth. I call to the light by remembering it. And speedily, we are reunited. All is renewed and refreshed. I revel in this feeling. I am gratitude. I am fearless. I am a follower of light, a weaver of light. There is nowhere to go that is too far from the Light. Because there is nowhere to go that is outside of Home and Together. I cannot be separate. And only a word unites me with breath.