The Gentle

My sister and I got these Tao Oracle cards what seems like a million years ago. They are so beautifully illustrated. The titles of the cards always stick with me as well: “The Gentle”, “The Taming Power of the Great”, “The Taming Power of the Small”.

I always remember the image and the title on the card. I’ll see one of them pop into my mind when I’m reflecting on something in my life.

I remember very turbulent times in my adult life when I would pull the card, “The Gentle”, over and over from the deck. It seemed absurd. How could I be gentle when everything seemed so chaotic and charged?

So I would meditate on this idea. The power of being gentle. Of a gentle approach. There seemed to be a wisdom inside of it that I felt, but didn’t understand.

I backed off everywhere I was being forceful. I leaned back a little every time I felt like I wanted to burst forward. I brought in the idea of being gentle when I was in a situation that felt especially charged. I started to understand it more, this gentleness.

In a way, I suppose, being gentle allowed me to realign with my higher knowing. To swim back into the space where my soul resides. It removed me from the position of ineffectual hard control over life to a higher, more helpful perspective. A bit of surrender. The allowing of Love to illuminate a situation.

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Yesterday, I felt frustrated with someone. I kept trying to reason my way out of it. It was almost time for my daily meditation and I didn’t want to take him with me there.

But I ran out of time, and I began my meditation with that annoyance tugging at me. Just breathe Heba, it’s not even a big deal. Don’t take it personally, find love in it. Hm, that didn’t work. I felt off. I felt frustrated with my inability to let it go.

Maybe spirit will help explain to me…(maybe spirit will take my side and agree that he’s a poophead). But I knew how this worked. The answer would very annoyingly be loving. But I didn’t know how, or which way it would be approached.

I let go more and more, as best I could. I listened to the ocean sounds I had playing on my meditation app. I imagined standing with my feet in the ocean, looking out at the waves far out into the distance. The air smelled salty. The breeze grazed my face and tumbled into my hair.

Mm, this was better.

Suddenly, I saw his face appear into my mindscape. A whole sequence of images came in a flash. I was smiling at him, showing him my work. I showed him how I like to shine light and where I draw it from. He looked back at me, listening. I held my hand over his chest and smiled again. I saw light trails running along his body.

I saw him the way I see people while I’m in trance or reading intuitively. When my personal judgement and opinions go away. They take a backseat somewhere; I feel a shift when it happens. All my focus goes into one direction, and the person in front of me starts to look like a cloud of waves and light.

This is my most sacred connection space. Most vulnerable, most joyful…and I couldn’t believe they’d brought him there. It wasn’t for his healing, it was for my own. Learning to stay steady in the light even when I feel inclined to turn away.

Seeing him in that space changed everything. I couldn’t relate to how I felt before. Because now he was a vast person, an expansive cloud of consciousness. He was more than could ever be defined in a single moment, or even in a single lifetime. And I was the same.

It made me think of something I’d read years ago. When you most want to close off your heart space is when you most need to open it wider than ever before. It takes courage, but once you realize how powerful of a being you are, you no longer need to hide behind darkness for safety.

It’s amazing how such a gentle, soft shift in perspective can change everything. It can make the person in front of you a monster or a friend. Troublesome or innocent.

A reminder from Spirit to turn towards the light whether the darkness is small or great. That there is a strength within us that surpasses fear, and eclipses even the most painful blows to our ego.