The story goes, one day I woke up and heard something coming from within. It said, “why don’t you try doing readings?”
That’s how I’d translated what I’d heard. I didn’t know what these readings were in an intellectual sense. But I could feel what the word meant.
I knew I could do whatever that was. I just needed someone to sit with me, and the words to explain what was happening. And surely, and blessedly these things would come.
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I took a long break from doing readings. I would do one here or there in the past couple of years, but I knew something had changed. An update of some kind, and I was missing some parts of that update.
My readings were still “good”, but there was more to come.
I pressed pause on my website, I pressed pause on my regular clients. Something was coming, and it was taking years to arrive.
A couple months ago, I felt the shift. There it was.
It was subtle, but I could see it and feel it. The update was almost complete. Soon, I would have to stand up and start walking. I would have to practice embodying the new information, whatever that was.
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During my break, the person that I was before felt so distant. The Heba that regularly did readings felt unreal in relation to who I’d become over the last couple of years.
How did she do that? She was so loving all the time. So patient. So devoted to divine spirit, for seemingly no reason. There was no fame or fortune in any of it. In fact, the last message received from spirit was to stop charging for readings. People could instead donate to a worthy cause of their choosing.
I remember the pure joy I felt when I received that message. I knew it was time – for something. I didn’t know what, but I knew that something was unfolding perfectly. And I could let go of the burden of charging for my readings.
How did I come to receive this message about doing readings, and why was I so patient and loving at that time?
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The seed of our true essence sits inside of us like a large, glowing flame. As we peel away the layers of who we are not, we naturally begin to see the light of that essence.
We begin to walk a more authentic path than the one heavily influenced by others.
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Just like the changes I made in my food and exercise, at some point I made changes in the quality and quantity of my thoughts.
I was on a strict diet of spiritual messaging from my favorite gurus. I would listen to seminars and audiobooks and only read uplifting or mind-expanding books.
I practiced gratitude constantly, I shifted my thoughts to a more pleasant direction when they would dip.
I was feeding myself whole foods and whole concepts of goodness. I responded to terrible situations by leading with kindness; I believed with everything that I had in the goodness of whoever had wronged me.
And I realized it wasn’t my life that was changing, it was me.
I kept choosing kindness, because that’s what I wanted life to look like. I kept choosing patience, because that’s what I wanted from the world. And when I would see something different, I wouldn’t take it personally. I would adhere to my personal values and beliefs.
I didn’t think I was doing anything particularly special. In fact, I thought I was kind of a failure at this whole spiritual game.
But I was completely reshaping and reconditioning how I reacted to the world. And sure enough, like a see-saw weighted with rock after rock…life started to change.
I still didn’t make the connection. I just thought, “Wow, people are so nice. Everyone is so kind everywhere. I’m so lucky.”
I didn’t really pay attention to the stuff I didn’t like, because I was so excited about the good stuff.
I had filled myself to the brim with high vibration, transcendent messaging. And from that place, I could see more than I could before.
I could see the entirety of someone’s energetic field. And the pathway was through the attachments and judgements of the physical world, and into a perspective that sees with the eyes of love.
I became made-up of the vibrations of what I was consuming and then practicing.
That became the well from which my thoughts would spring, my words would speak, and my actions would move.
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There are two paths that lead to the same place. One is outlined above. Feeding the being high vibration foods of all varieties, until that internal flame has no choice but to burst forward.
The second, is to feed yourself all that you wish to become. Embody the vision, without judging the output. Let what you’re feeding yourself seep into your system and then transmute and express through you.
This takes time. This is alchemy.
You cannot compare how you were before or how things were before, with how they are now if you are still in process of transmutation.
If you are turning water to steam by heating it with a flame, and you keep stopping to go look if the pool of water is still water… you are getting in the way of the alchemy you are practicing.
Trust in what you are feeding yourself. Trust in what you are practicing. Where does your attention go? Where do you spend your mind’s time?
You will naturally begin to express the attributes of what you desire, as well as what your true essence looks and feels like.
This expression coming forward is called “the walk”, because you’ll have to embody the changes that you ignited.
The walk can get tricky, as parts of you respond differently to the “new you”. Old beliefs and pains may come up, and you’ll have to keep walking.
What comes up (and how you move through it) is part of your story, part of what makes it unique and interesting and beautiful.
It shapes your energetic body with curves and streams and meadows. It colors your manifestations in specifics that are unique to you. The results are not just what you wanted, but they are You + what you wanted expressed together. One wave. A unique expression.
You became what you wanted and then it started expressing outward, as an extension of you.
Every manifestation starts within you. Either from the depths of your darkness or the light of your heart. And it springs forward into life.
“Oh, hello.”
Now imagine a creation that you’ve been cultivating consciously for some time. It has all the good stuff woven into it. You know each other intimately and joyfully.
What it looks like is a mystery until it springs forward and takes on a shape of its own, and you’ll see what that specific combination of feelings and thoughts looks like as it passes through You and becomes seen by you.
That’s why you can never see the whole picture before you live it, it’s not born until it passes through you. And no one can predict how it will be uniquely shaped by your choices, your detours, your twists and turns.
<3,
Heba
Love: 