Om Namah.
Om-ah.
Home-ah.
Home.
The present moment sounds like a return to peace. A long exhale in a cloud of hurried breaths.
I lived for a while in a modern-day cave, turning inward and finding my truth.
I saw clearly that the only thing we really have is the present moment. The right now. This, right here. *inhale*
*exhale*
All the plans and stories and aspirations are projections, movie reels that we play out on the projector of our mind.
These thoughts made me feel real. I was a real person with a past, with goals and dreams for the future. I had a mental image of what I look like, what I wanted to look like, who I was in the world.
And in the slurry of projections, the truth had become lost.
I was at the mercy of images, ideas, plans, and memories. Beholden to my perception of how others see me, what I was supposed to be doing or saying or being.
The Devil card in the Tarot represents the physical world. The world of illusions. Not just that, but an over-fixation on that world so that the truth behind the illusion becomes temporarily lost.
We become enslaved to fear, to conditioning, we lose sight of the truth inside and start to desperately seek it somewhere “out there”.
To live as a sage, a master, a mistress of the Origin Breath, is to live without planning. To wash away the previous moment and think nothing of the upcoming moment.
In absolute faith that all will come, and all will fall away.
Tending to needs as they arise, planning nothing. Not concocting anything for the future, but noticing when thoughts arise of what’s to come.
It was a relief for some time, to live as Nothing. The breath before my existence was given a name. Before people around me assigned me characteristics. I was alive, in sync with the nature around me, in sync with my body’s needs.
I had no aspirations, no desire to obtain money or status or success. As time wore on, I started wanting to Have Things again. I wanted to look a certain way, to wear certain clothes. I felt called to talk to certain people, to create things with my hands. And then I wanted other people to see those things.
The most holy path is to live like a sage, but we are not only holy. We are also gifted desire, projection, relationship with our world, contemplation, preference.
These attributes lay atop our undefined self like a blanket lays over a bed.
We are the present moment and the projection.
I am, I sit. Noticing how there is nothing but This.
And from this Nothing, I can conjure thought. I can collect those thoughts into a projection.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to go on a walk today?” And the mind automatically begins to visualize taking a walk. You see yourself there, having a walk. Or you feel the desire and intention and satisfaction of that walk.
Projection is a choice, it’s a gift.
When you lose sight of that choice, when your projection begins to overwhelm your sense of autonomy, it’s time to step back.
Step back into breath, step back into that Nothing space. So that when you emerge again, you remember.
The next time you are imagining, a joyful imagination or otherwise…remember that you are choosing this movie. Whatever is playing in your mind is a choice.
If you feel like it is not a choice, Pause. Breathe. Find the empty spaces between sound. Take a cold shower. Walk in nature. You are not your thoughts, you are the choice maker behind the thoughts.
Shift your perspective so that projection is fun again. It is a choice and a gift.
See your goals and aspirations as a gift, because they are. We have the ability to project through time and space and see ourselves anywhere, doing anything!
We can choose to see ourselves joyful and satisfied or angry and punishing. All in the deafening quiet of our own mind.
Which movies do you play for yourself in your mind? Do you set your scenes in a drama or in a comedy? Are you in love, or are you in vengeance?
<3,
Heba
Love: 