On the threshold of a big change, I felt the same fear and hesitation as I usually feel. Nothing was coercing me to change; I wasn’t fighting or running from anything.
I was just trying to reach that part inside that seems to yearn for More. The part that’s always nagging me to be happier, to play more often.
I ask, what do you want from me?? And that part says, “Fun.”
To do things for the fun of doing them. To play, to connect, to discover.
The lack of fun doesn’t seem to threaten survival. It’s easy to dismiss it as an important need. But the nagging of the heart doesn’t stop. It says, “don’t forget to breathe, don’t forget to play.”
The part of our survival that we need most is the breath of life that wakes us up every day. It keeps our heart beating and it shines the light behind our eyes.
It happens without our conscious involvement, so it doesn’t always play a role in what we perceive as “survival”.
Sometimes, we hold on too tight to the things we need to live: money, food, shelter. When we let go just a little, that effortless Breath of Life can uplift our body and life into even better circumstances.
I sat contemplating, “How much do I let go, how much do I hold on?”
How do I take a leap of faith into nothingness? Into the unknown.
What if I fail? What if I’m a joke?
I went about my day, waiting for Spirit to reassure me. It might say things like, “Everything will work out perfectly. This is the most correct choice. Leap in with both feet. Expect no difficulties.”
But spirit didn’t say that at all!
As a thought passed through my mind, “What if it’s not perfect? What if I mess up? What if it’s hard?”
Spirit finally replied, “It might not be perfect. You might mess up. This might be hard.”
I was flabbergasted!
It went on to say:
“You’re human, you will continue to have human experiences. Some you’ll enjoy more than others. Things aren’t perfect, but they’re always changing. The fabric of life grows and morphs and transforms all the time.
Don’t demand perfection. Expect life. Life is a moving, breathing expansion. It won’t be perfect, it will be You. You- having an experience. Trying something. Maybe failing, maybe succeeding. Mostly enjoying the undulations of life’s Aliveness.
Jump because it’s fun to jump. Jump for the possibility of discovery.
Nothing is promised, but your presence is asked for. The only thing ‘demanded’ is presence.”
So I did it, I jumped in. With no guarantees and no cheerleaders, but with a fire inside that wants to Live, and Play, and Discover.
<3,
Heba
Love: 