Imagine a fighter: scowl faced, caked in mud and blood, their posture ready to fight or defend. A fire igniting within and flowing through their veins, heating the surface of their skin.
How often to do you feel that body flush of anger or rebellion?
How much do you let it run through your body? Do you try to squelch it down early, or does it overcome you like an ocean wave?
These flushes of emotion are an invitation to take back your freedom.
Find space between the flush of emotion and the external world that seems to have ignited the emotion.
You only need a little space. One or two breaths.
In this space, feel the raw energy that is flowing. It may feel like anger, frustration, or defiance.
Feel into it more objectively, can you distinquish the raw energy itself from the emotion?
You’ll find that the raw energy is almost (or maybe quite literally) shaking your body. This is your energy, yours to have and to stream. Feel it’s power and breathe. Imagine it as a river of water, and you are the channel through which the water flows.
Practice this to whatever extent you can, when you’re able.
Have you ever felt amazing, in such a great mood, and then someone or something comes to “ruin” it? It feels worst than if you hadn’t been so happy before.
This is because you are a streamer of energy, a channel for life force to flow. When you open up, for example because something is pleasing you, you “stream” more life force. More power is flowing through you and around you.
If something not-so-pleasing enters at that time, that robust energy begins to stream where your attention is now directed. It was flowing towards joy, and now it’s flowing towards disdain.
The extreme discomfort you feel is that strong life force moving in an undesirable direction.
Note that when something happens that captures your attention, whatever energy you are streaming flows towards that thing, just like a fire hose.
If you’re happy and open, let’s say you’re flowing 80% more life energy than usual. If a distraction or disruption captures your attention, that’s how much more energy is redirected towards that thing.
And while it felt amazing and reinvigorating when it was focused on something joyful, that same energy flowing towards the undesired will feel like an earthquake. Or it’ll feel like your boat is suddenly taking on too much water.
This is much more dramatic than if you were streaming let’s say, 20% energy. If an undesirable disruption happens then, it’s a little easier to manage. You aren’t shaken up as much, you don’t notice that you’ve added your energy to something undesirable.
You may have been doing this for a long time, quietly lending yourself to the undesirable, a little at a time. Maybe you learned it was easier to dull yourself down and operate at minimal energy. Perhaps that felt safer.
Today and from now on, you do not need to restrict or minimize your energy. You own it, you live it, and you understand and weild it with expertise.
You will be in the middle of a wave of anger and you’ll breathe. You’ll notice that it’s not anger you are streaming, it’s power. The emotion tells you where your power is pointing and to what level of intensity.
You’ll think “this energy is my own. I’m the one that’s flowing it, I am in charge of directing it”.
As you react to life, you’ll realize that you are feeding where your attention goes. Moment by moment.
As a person or event frustrates you, acknowledge the frustration, and then feel the power behind it. Say, “this power is my own”. Claim it. When you stay frustrated at a person or thing, you send your power away from your being.
You may think your anger is doing something. That in some way, your dislike will impact the situation. It won’t. Not in any way that is satisfying to you.
Anger is a bell that says, “no”.
That person or situation in the moment is a “no”. Feel the power inside that wants to do something, to fight or to flee. Say, “this power is my own. It is flowing energy, and it’s mine.”
Interally acknowledge the “no” you are feeling.
You may want to rush to an action or a stream of thoughts. You may want to “do something” or “decide something”.
“I’ll never let them talk to me like that again.”
“I’m leaving.”
“I’ll just give up.”
More important is interrupting this chain of provocation, reaction, emotion, and energy flow.
How many times have you been activated in a similar way and reacted in a similar way?
Try this new way.
Let’s say you’re angry with Phyllis. Notice what you’re thinking about the situation. Notice how you’re feeling.
You may want Phyllis to know that she’s “wrong”. You may be shaking your finger at her in your head. Maybe you’re deciding how you’ll act with Phyllis from now on.
These thoughts are quietly disempowering. They are remnants of the past.
It may seem empowering to “put Phyllis in her place”, but in fact you are quietly relinquishing your power.
This is what empowerment looks like:
You stand with yourself, observing the situation. You acknowledge your distaste for it. Internally, you say “no”.
This ‘no’ is not personal. It’s not fighting or defending. It is not up for debate or justification. It is removed from the external person or event. It’s simple.
Stand easily and simply with your “no”. This ‘no’ does not fight and it does not scowl. It knows itself.
It’s not waiting for justice or affirmation from the world. It’s yours. This is YOUR “no”.
Rise up inside yourself and claim it.
Notice in this state of mind, you are not planning. You are not defending or fighting. You’re not worried about what to do.
You are present with yourself, with the moment.
This is more important than what you do or what you decide. This step is where you firstly, take back your power.
The feeling of anger or fear says that in the moment, you are not in your power. And that’s ok, that’s normal.
In the past, maybe you’ve made decisions from that anger or fear. And that’s okay too.
But now, it’s time for something else. Now you take the time and space to come into your power first, and let the response come later.
This is your luxury to take hold of. No matter what seems urgent or who is urging or activating you, you say ‘hang on’. You notice when your attention has been caught like a fish on a baited hook.
You’ll remember that the hook and your reaction and subsequent energy flow is an important event. You’ll say “Oh! Here it is!”
‘Here is the opportunity to take myself back. To use my energy how I choose to.’
You are a wise steward, with energy as your charge. Rise up and take your place.
I invite you to stand with your “no”. Feel the power that rises with you in that stance.
You’ll rise from a place of “fixing” problems to a place of weilding power. This is where you connect to the fullness of life.
With Love,
Heba
Love: 